The Hamster Child

David is my hamster child. At least that's what he told me tonight. He thinks he was the "experiment kid" and Kate's the "real" one. Ya know, in a way, I guess the first child in all families is the hamster child -- the first one, the trial, the experiment. I'm not sure what the middle child is, but I'm pretty sure the last one is the gold fish child.

I know one thing for sure: if children were born teenagers, more humans would follow the example of other mammals and eat their own.