And Now . . .the Rest of the Family

I formally met my ex-husband's (we'll call him John) wife (we'll call her Monica) two weeks ago. Although I've been in the same room with her on several occasions, we've both aptly pretended that the other doesn't exist. But fate does create opportunities when we need to be pushed.

Here's what happened: I was on a business flight from Baltimore to San Diego. And, of all the flights, of all of the destinations, of all of the airlines, and of all of the times, John and his new wife just happened to be on my flight.

We were able to ignore one another on the five hour flight - after all, you barely move on those flights. The problem arose at baggage claim. There we were, standing in close proximity. I felt awkward. I finally just said to myself, "Well, get it over with, Donna. Come on, you can do it." And so I, walked over to them, extended my hand, and said, "Hi, Monica, I've not formally met you, but I'm David and Kate's mom, Donna."

She introduced herself, John smirked and nervously laughed. It was one of those ten second conversations that had few words, loads of meaning, and seemed to last forever. My stomach was in knots, my hands were shaky and clammy. The nerves didn't abate until I'd had a good walk in the sun around San Diego and done a lot of breathing. In fact, the entire time I was there, I was half afraid I'd run into them again.

Well, tonight I got to see the rest of the family -- John, and Monica, along with her boys, came to see Kate's play. Actually, it was great to see the boys! They looked like nice young men, and they'd driven a long way to come and see Kate. That's classy. That's support. That's FAMILY. I'm glad my daughter's family is growing. The more people we have in our lives who love us, the better off we are. There are all kinds of families. We can create the family we want. We just have to have the right combination of circumstances, open mindedness and willingness.

For the first time in a long time, I'm not worried or jealous or threatened. I'm feeling rather blessed. Although I didn't quite have the nerve to introduce myself to the rest of the family, I'm sure I will in time. I want to know all of Kate's family!