It's happened. Everyone told me it would, but I somehow thought I miraculously avoided it. Nope. I have a teenage daughter who is not that thrilled with me. Ugh, the rolling of the eyes. The smirks. The "whatever"s. Too much. Sometimes she tolerates me with an unwilling smile. Other times she just cringes. Almost all information is grudgingly given . . . sometimes to the point of her exasperation. I can't seem to get anything done fast enough or good enough. Pretty much everything I do is stupid or a waste of time. I laugh too much, I talk to loud, I walk too fast. Bottom line: I exist and that's annoying right now for my 17 year old girl.
When did this happen? How did it happen? Did I do something to cause it? I waste time asking myself these questions, but mostly I think the answer is pretty simple: Kate is growing up and has cut the apron strings. And, I guess that's what we all want, really. Right? Well, we had a good run. A darn good run.
In truth, I must have thought about this long ago. I found this poem I wrote when Kate was four:
Kite Flying
You, my dear, are like a March day.
Clear and sure as the Azure sky above.
Sweet as the scent of Spring’s first blossoms.
Chattery and excited as the newborn robins.
You're as free and colorful as a bright, new kite.
See all that you can.
And when I see that you are flying
high and straight and sure, I’ll cut the string and
set you free…
But always, I’ll be watching, waiting with
open arms to catch you and hold you close
when you tire and need a hug.Donna 1995
5 comments:
If I can comment through the tears....she is beautiful and you are an amazing mother. She is so lucky to have you and you her. Mothering is so hard! And, mine are still young.
That poem made me cry... I think you should count your blessings at how long it took her to get to this stage. You guys have been close and it will only take a couple of months away at college for her to come running back to your hugs. My mom and I fought A LOT the year I was leaving for college. Come to Detroit and I'll hang out with you until she comes back around :0)
The nice thing about cutting the apron strings is that, at some point, they will return to how you remember them, they will acknowledge that maybe you might know what you were doing, they learn from your mistakes and try not to make the same ones - it's the circle of life. You've done an amazing job with Kate, and have sacrificed a lot for her in her short time on this earth (all those bedridden months in bed before she was born, etc.). She'll be off for college before too long, and then she'll be calling for long distance support. It's the story of motherhood.
There is a good reason that our 17 year olds act this way thier senior year...it's because instead of being horribly sad about them going off to college we will be thrilled to have them leave. At least that is what I've been told before. I think there is a lot of truth to it. It is true also that after a month or two away they suddenly think you are the best thing next to sliced bread. They miss you. They want your opinion on things. They get homesick. Etc. I absolutely LOVE that poem. I have it tucked away in a special place. You are amazing and I think Kate will end up just like you. And that will be a great thing!
What a beautiful poem. I returned from a trip to Arizona about two weeks ago. We were visiting our daughter Karen. You never stop being a mother and fortunately your children will learn to appreciate you again. I agree with Joni, it's easier to let them go when they go through this stage. I think really they are afraid to go and distance themselves on purpose so they can go out on their own. But Kate will really value you and your advice tremendously when she becomes a mom and realizes how good she had it. Hang it there.
Post a Comment