Donna Black Davis

Mother Love

2009-09-26T06:15:00.005-04:00

I just woke up from a crazy, crazy dream. I was rushing through my church – late for sacrament meeting. I was looking for the bathroom but chanced to go into a room that was crowded with the women of the church. Curious about what was going on, I took a chair in the back row. There was an air of anticipation. Suddenly another woman bustled into the room and there was commotion. She was clearly distressed that she was late, and she apologized. One of the other women said, “Don’t worry. We didn’t even think you’d be alive.”

The woman who was late said, I didn’t think I would either. No one did. Let me tell you what happened.” She had a big bandage wrapped around her head and face, and I intuitively knew that a big part of her face was missing – hollowed out. She proceeded to tell her story:

“None of the doctors or church members could help me here. I went to another place where they have the buddy system. God was first in line to talk to me but I yelled, ‘no! my twins want to talk now. You'll have to wait.” As she spoke these words, she started to unwrap the bandage and her face was not just completely healed, but radiant – more beautiful than ever. She was healed. She would live.

I was suddenly overwhelmed with the sense of the power of love between mothers and their children. The mom put God on hold because her little twins wanted to talk first, and the twins, through their pleadings to God (this was not a dream where events were linear), were able to heal their mom when no one else could.

I woke up a few minutes ago sobbing. I’m not really sure why, but that dreamed moved me and filled me with a strange sense of something. I think we may take our Mother Love for granted sometimes – the power of it, I mean. It is fierce and nothing -- absolutely nothing -- comes first (not even God in this dream).

And I’ve never really thought about the power of the love that a child has for her parents. The pleas of the woman’s twins saved her – it restored her very flesh and blood, which was somehow eaten away. She lived because of the intervention, pleas and faith of her children.

As moms, we are remarkable people with a love for our children that is something to be reckoned with. But we should never forget the power of Child Love. It can save lives.

A Full Nest; a Bursting Heart

2009-09-11T15:12:00.005-04:00

Just for today, my nest is full. And it feels good. Well, honestly, I've hardly had any time to pay attention to my nest. I've barely seen my nest, in fact. I have been busy helping other people with their nests and am enjoying a flurry of meetings, outings, errands, quick phone calls, hurried hugs, texts and emails, belly laughter, and a few tears. I am saying "yes" to life. At least for today.

What I've learned: our life is exactly what we create. We choose. We can have just as much happiness as we're willing to embrace. We can chose to isolate and feel sorry for ourselves, or we can reach out and find fellow souls who yearn for connection, friendship, good works. I am blessed beyond belief with the people who have wandered, stumbled (literally), swooshed, or barged into my life. I have learned from them all and have loved nearly all of them. I have seen myself and others with kinder eyes.

I've been doubly blessed by the little people who are part of my life for two hours every Sunday. There's nothing like the enthusiasm, raw energy and curiosity of children. They are amazing teachers.

I am blown away by the strength of my family, with my parents forming a rock solid foundation of faith, gratitude, and unconditional love. My sisters sandwich me in love and good humor. My children keep me on my toes (and on my knees). And Darryl. What can I say? He is the glue that holds me together. Sprinkle all that with the amazing wonderfulness of my nieces, nephews, and bros-in-law, and you have a big, squishy cocoon of security and solace.

So, I am on a pink cloud. Just for today. I never would have imagined writing this a week ago. Indeed, I was in a dark place that I didn't think I could crawl out of. But it is amazing what prayer, exercising faith (I say "exercise" because it doesn't come naturally for me), and asking for help can do. My heart is bursting with gratitude. Just for today.

2009-08-12T22:18:00.002-04:00

Empty Nest

What to do with an empty nest?
Fill it with shopping or trips to the library?
Pile it with tasty dishes from new recipe books?
Toss in hours of pouring over old photo albums?
Clean it and scrub it?
Rearrange and refurbish?
Blast music so loud that I can’t stand to go in it?

Does one keep the nest empty?
Guard it from intrusion?
Make it a shrine or a refuge from loneliness?
Or turn away and never look into it?

The days are dwindling when my nest is intact.
Nighttime is impatient with her dark embrace.
Anxiety’s cold hands grabs at my ankles.
Doubt teases my mind and fills with fear.

And I wonder and worry:

Did I teach her what she needs to be independent?
Does she know who she is and where she came from?
Did I nurture her self confidence?
Did I tell her often enough how wonderful she is?
Does she know she’s loved unconditionally?
Does she know her true worth?
Can she stand tall and strong and make her voice heard?
Are her wings strong and sturdy?
Her sense of direction keen?
Is she ready for flight and adventure and independence?

Whatever I did or didn’t do, I know in my gut,
In my heart,
In my mind
…my bird is ready to take
FLIGHT!!

Tribute to Atlas Shrugged

2009-07-29T22:14:00.004-04:00

I wrote this in 1990 after reading Atlas Shrugged for the second or third time. My big confession: I never finished the book. I couldn't bear to be without John Galt.

A Tribute to Atlas Shrugged

Empty wall, bare wall.
Open just for a moment and
let me walk through you.
Show me a place unlike the
world where I exist.

Show me the factories of
Henry Rearden, the railroads
of Dagny Tggart. Show me Wyatt's
Torch and Galt's Gulch.
Let me walk through the a'Anconia mines,
and sail the ships of Danneskjolk.

Let me see those that the world hated,
yet could not do without.
Let me talk with the immovable movers
and listen to the Concerto of Deliverence.

Idealist, you say. Dreamer.
Yes, let me. I will dream.
Just once I want to explore the
world of idealism, progressiveness.
People with self-esteem and independence.
People who love themselves.
People who will not sacrifice their values.

These men and women who
have left a world where men
damn existence...and damn the Earth
yet dare not question their code.

Let me dwell with those that believe
that your life belongs to you,
and that good comes from living it.
Let me join those who have turned their
backs on the sacrificial altar of socidety.

Let me unite with those who have
found a better morality to live by

Let me be part of them for just a while,
And I will return through the wall from
whence I came.

I will not live in their world
but their world will live in my heart.

Donna Black
October l990

Off to College . . .

2009-07-28T22:48:00.011-04:00

Green Before Green was Hip

2009-07-28T20:54:00.002-04:00

I found a book of poems I wrote 29 years ago. Turns out I was green before green was all the rage. That was back almost three decades ago when I was wise. I think I'm living backwards and that, with me, foolishness and ignorance come with age.

A Letter

Asses, fools, men.
They think the world was made
For them.
That every bird, cloud and
Blade of grass
Was made for the comfort of a
Big, fat ass.
That every creature
North and south
Was made to stuff in
An ugly mouth.

So, live it up and have your fun
Because, dear fools, your time is done.
Imbeciles that you are –
You didn’t realize that your birth
Was for the caring of the Earth.

You ugly, destructive, selfish mob,
Earth’s life and beauty you have robbed.
Because of your careless, endless lies,
Prepare your meager minds to die.
Your punishment – now that all is checked –
Is to live on this planet that
You yourselves have wrecked.

Sincerely yours,
Mother Earth

Drink Up This Day

2009-07-28T19:51:00.004-04:00

Drink up this day
In all its deliciousness,
In all its fullness.
Breathe it in.
Listen to it.
Feel it.
Bathe in its uniqueness.
Twirl in its warmth.
Embrace its energy.
Soak up the moment.
When its over only the
Gentle glow of memories remain.
Donna '09

This Too Shall Pass

2009-07-14T11:06:00.007-04:00

I am so glad I don't feel this way anymore, but "With Age" describes where I was in 1992. Those were dark years!

With Age

My panoramic view of life
collapsed into a Petri dish.
Where I once saw endless possibilities
I now see blockades, barriers, obstructions.

Where a myriad of colors once
danced across the horizon,
I now see ugly streaks in
shades of gray and brown.

Where I once saw glorious eternity
reigning in its splendor,
I now see only today as it clutches my
ankles and drags me down.

I once had an endless reservoir
of energy,
and now it seeps and oozes
through my blighted body.

Respite comes when splatterings
of illusions and fantasy
briefly cast dazzling colors
upon my bleak picture of reality.

Donna Franklin ‘92

Life

2009-07-14T10:27:00.002-04:00

Insight is never free;
growth is never painless;
self knowledge comes only
with many tears, mistakes,
with fear and with pain.

But find the courage and
the strength, and the
darkness will open to
brilliant light. The
heavy burdens will lift
and eyes and heart will open.

The green fields and flowers
of your dreams will escape
your imagination and
become reality.

Be willing to feel the pain,
to shed the tears,
to fight the darkness.
That is the only way to find
your true self.

donna franklin '97

Reflections of the Middle East

2009-07-08T16:57:00.003-04:00

I walked in the chilly morning air through the shadows of Petra.
I heard the clamoring of chariots through Petra’s slot canyon.
I felt the spray of the Sea of Galilee as we sailed at night.
I was wakened by the call to prayer in the dark morning hours.
I heard the roar of the river at Tel Dan.
I dipped my toes into the sea at Caesarea Philippe.
I walked among the red poppies at Beit Lehi.
I strolled through the herb-scented pastures of Nazareth.
I glimpsed the ancient marble streets of Damascus from a Golan Heights’ hill top.
I smelled the fragrant almond groves around Tiberius.
I sat among the ancient olive trees of Gethsemane.
I sloshed through the wet streets of the Old City, the smell of fresh falafels filling the air.
I bartered with good natured shopkeepers over the price of baklava, tapestries and scarves.
I was jostled by children on their way to school in the streets of Old Jerusalem.
I was dizzy with the scent of heavy spices in the Jerusalem marketplace.
Sunlight stung my eyes when I left the quiet cool of the Garden Tomb.
Juice ran down my chin when I bit into a just-picked orange.
My pulse quickened as I stood where Jesus was mocked and scourged.
My heart wept as I joined the throngs of Orthodox Jews at the Wailing Wall.
The rosy sunrise kissed my frozen face as I stood on Mt. Sinai.
I awakened a sleeping camel on the shores of the Mediterranean Sea.
I purchased warm sesame-coated knotted bread and hot falafels on the streets of Old Jerusalem.
The wind dance through my hair at the ruins of Caesarea Philippe.
I descended into the tomb of an ancient Egyptian King.
My feet felt the grit of the sands around the pyramids.
My head spun and my pulse raced in the crazed traffic of Cairo.

An ornery camel challenged by balance on the dark trail up Mt. Sinai
I stepped into holy places at the temples of Kings at Karnak.
I faced the sphinx and stared her down.
I walked along the Nile in the early morning hours.
I sat at the Damascus gate watching peddlers prepare for their day.
I dodged strange trash collection vehicles darting in and out of Jerusalem alleys.
I made eye contact with Bedouins herding their sheep.
I watched packs of wild dogs running wild in the Jordanian desert.
I saw Egyptians tend to their crops just the way their ancestors did a thousand years ago.
I longed to stroll invisible through the streets of the City of the Dead.
I bobbed, covered in black mud, in the salty waters of the Dead Sea.
I sat on the Mount of Olives and listened to stories of Jesus.
I sat – sunshine on my neck – in the spot where Jesus taught his apostles at Banias.
I climbed the steps where Jesus walked to his trial.
I stood in the shade listening to the waters of the River Jordan.
My heart broke as I wandered the solemn rooms of Yad Vashem.
My eyes gobbled up the pinks and greens of just blooming almond groves in the Golan Heights.
I smooshed through crowds down narrow stairs to see Jesus’ birthplace.
I stood on the stone road where Roman soldiers flogged Jesus Christ.
I saw the fiery orange sun dip between the pyramids.
I exchanged smiles and hugs with Egyptian children eager to practice their English.
I wandered through fields of red poppies at Beit Lehi.
I sat in the scalding sun at Masada.
I smiled at the rough-handed wood carver in his Bethlehem olive wood store.
I touched the ancient, war-pocked walls at Old Jerusalem.

Mommy's Day

2009-05-10T11:39:00.002-04:00

Here are two poems Kate wrote when she was in second or third grade. They still warm my heart and bring a smile.

Mom

Moms will walk across the desert
to help you sleep.
They will swim over the ocean
to help you not to weep.
They will climb a mountain tall
to pick you up when you fall.
Moms are wonderful people
who we will always remember and love.

Mommy’s Bed

Sometimes when it’s late at night,
I have a terrible fright.
I grab my blankies, go up the stairs
and say goodbye to my teddy bears.
I crawl into my mommy’s bed
and cover up my sleepy head.
The pillows are so fluffy–it’s not at all stuffy.
They sheets are so smooth that
you can easily snooze.
“Go away!” I say to my sleeping brother –
this is my mother!

To All the Second Mothers

2009-05-07T11:12:00.005-04:00

As Mother's Day approaches, I want to say thank you to all "second mothers" -- those amazing women who help us raise our children. The women who are there to comfort, guide, direct and discipline when we are not. What would we ever do without them?

This is something I wrote for Ellen McGraw many years ago. Ellen was a second mother to Kate when she was very small. Her home was a safe harbor, a place of love, a treasure chest of joy.

To Ellen and all other Second Mothers – Happy Mother’s Day and thanks from the bottom of my heart!

Second Mother

You wipe the tears and give
the hugs.
You feed the body and
the spirit.
You hear the laughter
and the cries.
You see the potential and
cherish the child.

A second mother,
a treasured link
in the eternal circle
of Kate's life.

Love knows no boundaries
or genetics or biology.
Who says a child needs
only one mother!
Ah, you have been
Second Mother to many.

And you are loved and cherished,
valued and prayed for,
counted on and cared for
by many, many
Second Children.

Vision of Life

2009-05-05T16:43:00.001-04:00

Let me see life through the eyes of Christ.
Let me see people with eyes of unwavering love--
unconditional love.

Let me see the world through the eyes of a child.
Let me find wonder in the smallest flower,
the common oak tree, the evening sunset.

Help me to see each living creature as a miracle--
precious and irreplaceable. A piece of a beautiful and
complex puzzle -- one I don’t need to understand or analyze,
but simply enjoy and cherish.

dblack ‘99

I Love Four Year Olds

2009-05-04T09:23:00.004-04:00

I love four year olds. I love their enthusiasm and their confidence.

In Sunday School, Sister Watson told the kids she was going to teach them about something that was sort of complicated. And it was a big word. She said she didn't think most of them would know what it was --"ordinance".

Joshua is four years old. He started popping up and down in his seat and raising his hand high above his head saying, "Oh, I know. I know!" He was practically falling out of his chair with his exuberance. "I know! I know! We put ordinance all over our Christmas tree." I love four year olds.

There's No Glamour in Those Shots!

2009-05-02T22:04:00.009-04:00

I took Kate to Glamour Shots at Tyson's Corner today to get her senior picture taken. I was stunned to see some of the 4x6 foot portraits they chose to hang in the gallery. One was a 40-something year old woman facing the camera and on all fours donning a red teddy, breasts spilling out. The second photo was of a woman about 8 months pregnant. She was standing up in a fancy living room with her blouse unbuttoned below her breasts and her huge naked stomach bursting forth.

Don't get me wrong-- I think it's very cool when a woman wears sexy things for her sweetheart-- I just think it should stay between the two of them. I think pregnant women are beautiful. In fact, I have pictures of my big bare belly when I was hugely pregnant -- but I don't really think strangers would find it very attractive.

And wouldn't you just die if you were a teenager shopping with your girlfriends and walked past Glamour Shots just to see huge photo of your mom in her red "come hither" teddy? How humiliating would that be? What do you think those women were thinking when they said, "Sure, please do hang that photo of me (in your front window where thousands of strangers will see it)." Seriously, I had nearly three hours to sit and contemplate that question, and I still can't come up with a single answer.

Honestly, I was afraid to look at the proofs of Kate when her photo session was over. Luckily, the pictures were lovely and worth every uncomfortable minute of sitting with belly lady and teddy chick.

p.s. I won't even tell you about the big photo of the goth ballerina -- and I am not kidding.

Jerusalem, Thou Art So Far Away!

2009-04-30T23:10:00.005-04:00

Oh, Jerusalem, thou art so far away! I've been home for over a month now but never wrote about our delightful adventures together! Time and distance have slipped in between us, and I don't think I can do your splendor justice. The sights and smells and sounds that were nestled snugly in my mind have been nudged out by worries of college choices, a court case, new church responsibilities and swine flu.

When I first got back from your Holy Land, I'd dream about you almost every night. It was like extending that magical trip, but now I can't dream about you no matter how many pictures I look at or how hard I shut my eyes and concentrate on your sacred places.

In the words of one of your favored sons:
"If I forget thee, O Jerusalem, let my right hand forget her cunning. If I do not remember thee, let my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth; if I prefer not Jerusalem above my chief joy."

A Swearing Mood

2009-04-30T08:56:00.007-04:00

WARNING: THIS POST MAY CONTAIN LANGUAGE OFFENSIVE TO THE SENSITIVE READER.

Dammit. There's just nothing I can do about it; I am in a swearing mood. I just woke up that way. I can't blame it on hormones. I can't blame it on weather. I blame it on the genes I inherited from my mom. My mom's family is notorious for their cussing. When my mom (Wannie) was a baby, her dad used to rock her to sleep with the dear little ditty, "Son-a-bitchin' Wannie, son-a-bitchin' Wannie". I remember when Grandma Hunt to used to chase us out of her kitchen after we raided her cookie jar with, "Come back here you little shits!" And when Mom asked Aunt Vena, "Don't you want to be married to Ed for eternity?", Vena replied, "Hell no! I've been putting up with son-of-a-bitch for too long already."

So, really. Is it any wonder that I occasionally wake up in a mood to cuss? If your Mom used yell at you and your cousins to "come and shit your goos on" (get your shoes on) so we can leave", maybe it leaves an impression. If your dad said, "Let's get the whole fam damily here so we can go", maybe it sort of sticks. If one of your family's favorite card games was "Dammit to Hell", maybe you'd be prone to swearing. If you're grandma was introduced to a famous star (who will remain nameless) in Vegas and said to him, "You're sure a handsome son-of-a-bitch", maybe you'd be prone to cussin'. Maybe if your mom referred to your oldest sister (who really was an awful teenager) as "your royal hind-ass", you'd be inclined to blurt out a bad word once in a while.

When my niece Ellie was about three and someone asked her what Grandpa says, she'd say, "Shut the damn door". I rest my case. It's in our blood.

So, if I occasionally wake up in a swearing mood, perhaps you'll understand. But let me assure you, that those genes I inherited from my mom's family are the same genes that gave me an explosive imagination and more creativity than I can handle. It gave me a sense of humor and a wild, adventurous spirit. It's given me a thirst to connect to people, to learn about other cultures, to talk to strangers and invite them to supper, to jump into the thick of life with no regret. So . . . to Grandma Hunt, to Grandpa Oz, to Aunt Vena and to Mom: Thanks, dammit! Thanks a lot.

Prom Bomb II

2009-04-26T20:35:00.003-04:00

I've tried and tried to post the ONE picture of Kate in her prom dress, but to no avail. This program refuses to let me. Kate had an absolutely glorious time. Turns out that Micheal's mom was at the house where all the kids met for picture taking. She gave Kate a big hug, told her she looked beautiful and that it was worth the wait. She took lots of pictures.

Kate's dress (which cost $45 to get fitted) was not so fitted after all. The bodice kept falling down, so Kate spent half the night holding it up. The prom was at the Capitol Hill Hyatt - within the shadow of our Nation's Capitol. The theme was Viva Las Vegas and they served an all you could eat buffet for dinner and then another for breakfast. Pretty snazzy.

We'll take the dress back to tailor and hope it's fixed by the time Prom II arrives on May 22. Yes, she is wearing the same dress! I know I've complained a lot about this whole prom thing . . ..but really, isn't it just too wonderful that I have a lovely, beautiful daughter who is going to two proms with a wonderful young man? Isn't it great that we can afford a dress and all the other accouterments for such an event? Isn't it a blessing that I have friends who can listen to me complain and then laugh at make me and give me perspective? It is. And I am blessed.

Prom Bomb

2009-04-25T23:33:00.004-04:00

What an insane week it's been getting Kate ready for prom! After going to over a dozen stores, we found a dress. It had to be tailored and I miraculously found someone to do it in one day (extra bucks go a long way). Yesterday evening Kate took the metro to Bethesda to get a spray tan. She got there to discover she had to have a parent sign a waiver, so I told her we could go this morning at 9 a.m. (before the shoe shopping, hair and make up appointments).

We got there before I discovered that I left my purse at home. Thankfully, Kate had enough money to pay for the tan, and I cleverly distracted the lady so she forgot to ask me for a photo ID. But...that meant we had to go back home before our shoe shopping.

We actually found the shoes pretty quickly -- and some lovely jewelry. We were doing so well, in fact, that we stopped for lunch. It was over pizza that I realized we hadn't bought Michael a boutonniere, so we rushed home and I made calls to a florist for a 2 p.m. pick up.

Kate's dress was supposed to be done at 1 pm. It was in Silver Spring. The lady called to say the dress was done but they'd lost the shawl. Oh well, it was 92 degrees and Kate could do without a shawl.

The trip to Silver Spring was uneventful, but College Park (a.k.a. location of the florist) was a nightmare -- it was Maryland Day.

I got home just in time for Kate to go to her hair appointment. After she left, I felt bad: it was HOT and her car has no air conditioning. The updo and the makeup would surely wither before she got home. I rushed to the salon and traded cars with her -- only to realize her gas light was on and her tank was completely empty. So...$31.53 later I was finally home.

I lost track of time when the doorbell rang. It was 6:30 and Michael was at the door. Sadly, Kate was not. She was still getting her make up done. Four couples were waiting for Michael and Kate and kept texting him as we chatted for FORTY minutes waiting for Kate, who claimed she was ten minutes away.

Shortly after 7:00, she rushed in, dashed up the stairs, got dressed, grabbed her backpack (she's sleeping at Nikkis) and ran out the door. I only got to snap a single picture and hardly even had time to look at her in all her beautifulness. I won't see her until "the morning after" when all that's left of the magical senior prom is a wrinkled dress, wilted crossage, smeared make up and groggy teenager.

So, I'm feeling used, abused, and disappointed. Good thing this was Michael's prom and that her prom is in three weeks. Maybe we'll have our act together!

A Dream Come True!

2009-04-23T22:44:00.002-04:00

In Chinatown in NYC, there are some little places you can slip into after a long day of shopping when your back is screeching in pain and your feet are swollen and sore. These little oriental massage places charge $20 for a half hour of pure heaven. They are dark. They are cheap. They require no appointment. They don't ask for your name. You get a heavenly massage while fully clothed and listening to exotic oriental music. In short, they are my idea of heaven, and I always look forward to my secret indulgence when I go to New York.

Imagine my surprise -- my complete delight! -- when I was prom shoe shopping with Kate today in Silver Spring and found a similar place -- but this one in a mall! I quickly forgot our mission to find some strappy silver shoes and said to the friendly man, "We'll take two 30 minute sessions." Before I knew it I was on a massage table fantasizing about slipping out of the office once a week during lunch to get a massge. I thought of how many bagels and VitaminWater 10's would equal a massage. Before I knew it, I was so relaxed I was drooling through the head rest. Now, that was a half hour of pure heaven!! I was ready to conquer the shoe shopping mission. I think I can handle just about any challenge when I can see a massage in my future. The heavens are smiling today!

Oh, these guys are open from 10:00 a.m. until 9:30 p.m. seven days a week. Could there be any better news?

Teenrager Hell

2009-04-21T20:35:00.003-04:00

I have spent the last TWELVE days devoted to Kate. Getting the house ready for a weekend friend and running them all over. Taking Kate to the emergency room on Easter, followed by a day off work for follow up visits to doctors. I took four days off work to take Kate and three friends to NYC for two days, followed by a road trip to North Carolina and Virginia to look at colleges. We spent hours in North Carolina malls looking for a graduation dress. I spent Sunday and Monday trying figure out how we could possibly pay for Virginia Tech.

Last night Kate told me that Micheal's prom is this Saturday and she needed a dress. So I left work early and fought rush hour traffic and rain to take her to TEN (count them) stores. She could not find a single dress she liked. Not at Macy's. Not at Bloomingdale's. Not even at Lord and Taylor. So, I was exhausted and hungry and my gas light went on in heavy traffic on the beltway when Kate cranked up the radio and declared that she is the unluckiest person in the world. OMG!! Really? Did she just say that? I am officially exasperointed (a cross between exasperated and disappointed). If she is the unluckiest person in the world . . .well, you can only imagine where my thoughts go from there.

Let's see, when does her freshman year start?

Getting Ready

2009-02-23T23:11:00.003-05:00

In less than two weeks, Darryl, my parents, Joni & Kevin, and Jeanne & Max, and I will be heading to Israel for 18 days! Holy cow! I've known about this trip for about six months, but it always seemed so far away. Now, it is just around the corner and I am hoping I can be ready.

I feel like I'm preparing for a long, around-the-world voyage instead of an 11 hour flight across the Atlantic. Besides packing for a variety of activities and climes, just figuring out all the logistics of leaving two teenagers, a cat, a house and my job for almost three weeks has been daunting.

I keep checking the list of things the travel agent tells us to bring: 9 volt batteries, sewing kit, gloves and scarves, scriptures and reading material, $100 in small bills, $400 in large bills for tips and VISAs, copies of passports and credit cards, swimming suit and water shoes, long underwear and sunscreen -- duct tape wrapped around a pencil. Really? Doesn't this sound like a crazy list considering we are only allowed once suitcase that weighs less than 50 pounds? How can we pack for temperatures that will vary from 30 to 80 degrees? What if I didn't get the right converter or (gasp!) don't make a good choice on my reading material? And which binoculars do we bring? Which camera? Do I go for quality or portability? The chances of rain are pretty small but do I want to risk getting caught in a storm unprepared or taking up extra space for a poncho that I may never need? Will there really be laundromats in Jerusalem that will happily do our laundry for us one day?

And, on the homefront: Yikes! I am leaving two (wonderful) teenagers for almost three weeks. Of course, I'll stock up on groceries and leave some money, but what have I not thought of? It's not like they can just give me a call and I can be home in a couple of hours. These are kids that may or may not know how to handle an over flowing toilet, a clogged drain, leaking gutters. More likely, they will not empty the trash cans before the reek to high heaven, will not bring in the mail and the recycling bins, won't clean out the litter box.

So, this is another opportunity for growth. I have had nearly two decades to teach these young people to be independent and self reliant. I have done an inadequate job. It is so much easier to do it myself than to take the time to teach them new skills. What a mistake. It seems like they were four years old a week ago and that I had all the time in the world to work with them. Now they are nearly adults.

It's time to trust them and to turn it over to God. After all, they ARE His children, and I'm sure he'll keep an eye on them so I can enjoy my once in a lifetime adventure to Israel. Keep your fingers crossed and good energy flowing our way!

MVA Woes

2009-02-20T21:58:00.002-05:00

Don't ever mess with the MVA gods -- you know, those ever so grumpy people who sit behind their desks at the Motor Vehicle Administration and determine if your three hour wait ends in a sigh of relief or a huge dose of frustration.

As I cleaned out the glove compartment in our 18 year old Honda, I came across the registration and realized it would expire this week. Knowing we'd be in Israel until the end of March and that Kate is just dying to drive, I thought I'd go on line and do a quick renewal. Haha. Not so fast. You see, John is still listed as the owner (I'm a mere a co-owner) and so they send the stickers to him. Well, he is MAD at me, and so it's not bloody likely he'd pass on the stickers to me once I paid the $138 reneewal feel.

Wanting to make sure I got all the pertinent information and wasted no time, I called the MVA to find out what to do. After a 15 minute wait, a real person answered and said that all although I couldn't make changes on line, I just needed to come in and tell the people at the MVA to use the address of the co-owner. Piece of cake! John also lost the title and so never gave it to me (as stated in our divorce agreement of 11 years ago) and so for just $20, I could also get a duplicate title.

Feeling organized and optimistic, I left work at 3 p.m. today and headed to the nearest MVA. I should have lost a bit of my sunny attitude when there were no parking spots, but undaunted, I carried on. I didn't lose my good attitude while waiting in a winding, ever ending line. I didn't lose hope as I sat for two and a half hours on tortuous metal chairs as number after number got called. FINALLY - I47 was being served at counter 2. Whooo hooo!

My spirits were crushed once the very serious and "I have no time for you, lady" attendant looked at me over her glasses. It didn't matter what the people on the phone told me; it didn't matter that I'd been in line for almost three hours; it didn't matter that it was now 5:35 and I was one of the few people sitting behind the locked doors of the MVA:

1. I can pay for the renewal ($138)
2. I cannot change the address; John has to come in and do it in person
3. I cannot get the title unless John signs it over and comes to the MVA in person.

I was seriously bummed, but knew it didnt' matter what I said to Ms. MVA. they are trained to have no feelings, to show no empathy, to be stone faced and immovable.

When I told Darryl about my woes, he glanced up and said, "You know, you shouldn't sweat it. We'll be lucky if the car lasts another year." Oh, yeah, I forgot that the car is two years older than it's new driver. DUH!

Hitting Hard

2009-02-04T23:23:00.002-05:00

Tonight was girls night out. There were twelve of us. We had dinner at my friend's house who lives in Bethesda -- in a house big enough to have a dining room with a table that comfortably seats 20. By outside appearances, it looked like it often does when a few or more of us get together. Twelve well dressed, coifed women. We are a group of friends who range in age from 25 to 67. We are from mixed socio-economic circumstances -- from single doing the Capitol Hill gig to retired on a fixed income; from upper class married with kids to a divorced entrepreneur. Times are tough, friends. Here's what is happening in this microcosm of the U.S.:

-friend 1: had to charge her $135 antibiotic prescription because her insurance doesn't cover that drug.
-friend 2: had to settle for getting 1/3 of her $220 prescription because she's between jobs, has no cash in the bank, and her credit card is maxed out
-friend 3: is about to lose her catering business, which was thriving to the point of craziness a year ago
-friends 4 and 5: have both lost their jobs and are desperately looking for new ones
-friend 6: is doing a lot of pro bono work but can't find a job that pays her bills
-friend 7: had a $1500 car repair bill she didn't want to put on a VISA; called to see if she could borrow against her 401K. She was told no because there was only $315 in the account. In January of 2008, the account had $68,000

The fact is that these women are all well educated, experienced and highly employable. But that's not the saddest thing. The saddest thing is that we're the lucky ones. We are feeling the pinch, no doubt, but we are not walking the edge like so many other families. We are not about to fall off into the abbys of helplessness and desparation that so many face.

At the beginning of the month, I drive by homes where the people have been evicted. All their possessions thrown in thoughtless, sad heaps in the front yard for anyone to rummage through. It's such a violation. It makes me especially sick to see the toys and little clothes. What will happen to those families? To those children? How many are too ashamed to let others know, to ask for help?

If you are reading this, you may want to thank the Creator that you are in a warm spot and have electricity. So many of our problems are dwarfed by those of so many around us. Please keep them in your prayers.

We Had a Good Run

2009-01-29T21:24:00.005-05:00

It's happened. Everyone told me it would, but I somehow thought I miraculously avoided it. Nope. I have a teenage daughter who is not that thrilled with me. Ugh, the rolling of the eyes. The smirks. The "whatever"s. Too much. Sometimes she tolerates me with an unwilling smile. Other times she just cringes. Almost all information is grudgingly given . . . sometimes to the point of her exasperation. I can't seem to get anything done fast enough or good enough. Pretty much everything I do is stupid or a waste of time. I laugh too much, I talk to loud, I walk too fast. Bottom line: I exist and that's annoying right now for my 17 year old girl.

When did this happen? How did it happen? Did I do something to cause it? I waste time asking myself these questions, but mostly I think the answer is pretty simple: Kate is growing up and has cut the apron strings. And, I guess that's what we all want, really. Right? Well, we had a good run. A darn good run.

In truth, I must have thought about this long ago. I found this poem I wrote when Kate was four:

Kite Flying

You, my dear, are like a March day.

Clear and sure as the Azure sky above.

Sweet as the scent of Spring’s first blossoms.

Chattery and excited as the newborn robins.

You're as free and colorful as a bright, new kite.

So, go my darling! Fly away and explore.

See all that you can.

And when I see that you are flying

high and straight and sure, I’ll cut the string and

set you free…

But always, I’ll be watching, waiting with

open arms to catch you and hold you close

when you tire and need a hug.

Donna 1995

I'm a Big Purple Bird!

2009-01-22T12:03:00.005-05:00

I have a mental list of things I'd never do -- you know, things that would be too embarrassing, risky, tacky, pushing the comfort zone. I have a LONG list. So, how is it that I agreed to don the costume of a big purple bird with a gigantic beak, huge yellow feet, and big frilly tail? How is it that I not only walked among the crowd of 4,000 people in this awkward, uncomfortable contraption but shook hands, waved, did the high five and the fist bump, gave out countless hugs to excited children, and shook my bootie? Who knows! Perhaps watching "Yes Man" a week prior to the event had some influence. Maybe it was just enough to make me tip toe out of my comfort zone. Who am I kidding? It was not a timid tip toe out of my comfort zone -- it was a gigantic leap out of the zone. But I did it!

Here's what I learned: kids are enthusiastic, open, inquisitive; boys like to high five, punch and pull tails; girls like to hug; and parents love to snap photos of their kids with any random character. More importantly: if you're gonna wear a huge bird costume with a clunky, heavy head and gigantic feet, you must absolutely have ready access to lots of water, Tylenol, and heat wraps to deal with the accompanying excruciating headaches, sore neck and back muscles and shin splints.

Am I glad I did it? You bet! I've never been so darn popular. I had people waiting in line to shake my hand or hug me. I had hoards of kids running up to hug me saying, "Digit, I love you!" I had my photo taken a hundred times.

It felt so good that the next night at one of the many receptions/parties I went to, I donned a bright red cowboy hat that had a flashing blue star on it. It was sooo tacky! Gosh, who knows what I'll do next! So, my recommendation to all of you: Just Say "YES"!

Staying in Touch

2009-01-21T23:31:00.003-05:00

With all the technology -- cell phones, email, Facebook, My Space -- why is it so darn hard to stay in touch with those we love the most? Drives me crazy. It takes seconds to connect, and yet so often I don't. Each time I call my sister, Joni, we can talk non stop for a good hour. It feels so good. I laugh, I jabber away, I listen, and I feel so reconnected and close again. I vow never to let so much time slip away again. And yet a month later, we're doing the same thing. Crazy, isn't it?

We miss so much of the little things (and sometimes the BIG things) that are a part of our lives. For instance, today I got to learn about this crazy, insane dessert Joni was making that required eight boxes of pudding, insanely shaped cookies with gum drops, and cupcakes. Took her hours to make. Is it critical information? Is it really that important? Maybe not. But it reminded me of the wonderfulness of my sister. How she dedicates her life to her family, how she daily renders unselfish service, how she courageously makes outrageously crazy desserts for a bunch of teenage girls -- all with a great attitude and a smile.

I am again missing her. And missing the great times we have when we are together -- hours of non stop talking, gut splinting laughter, endless eating and shopping, recalling our growing up year, comparing our goofy (and lovable) husbands and our kids who can drive us nuts. We talk about our challenges and new found wisdom and sense of serenity, and the faith that God is taking care of us and those we love the most.

I get the same feelings of joy and connectedness when I call my Merri and Donna, and I wonder how I could possibly stand not connecting for so long.

Loved ones -- you are always in my thoughts and prayers, but I am going to try harder to connect to you voice-to-voice more often. You enrich my life, you make me feel loved and important, you help me gain my perspective, and you make me laugh. You are good medicine!

An Emotional Day

2009-01-20T23:01:00.003-05:00

I didn't expect it at all, but from the moment the Obamas emerged from the White House after coffee with the Bushes, my tears didn't stop. I love that our country has such a peaceful transition of power. I love the dignity and grace with which the Bush's welcomed the Obamas into the White House. My heart went out to President Bush as he left the White House for the last time -- thinking of all the eight years of toil and shortcomings, and being unappreciated and unpopular by the majority of his country's citizens.

I felt excited for the Obamas and thought how overwhelmed they must be at the prospect of their new life of challenges and burdens. I thought of those beautiful, innocent girls who have so much to learn and experience.

I thought of the hundreds of thousands of people who sacrificed to come to Washington, who stood for hours in freezing temperatures, who stood shoulder to shoulder with strangers to sing, to celebrate, to stand in support of our new leader.

I was especially touched by the letter Jenna and Barbara Bush wrote to the Obama girls, which was published in the Wall Street Journal today. It was heartfelt and filled with wisdom, wit and and sincere goodwill and a touch of humor.

My prayers are with each and every one of them -- Mr. and Mrs. Bush as they spend their first night as regular citizens; President and Mrs. Obama as the begin to shoulder the awesome responsability of the First Couple, and all the citizens from every walk of life who have expressed their hope and their support for a man who has inspired our hope and our dreams for a better tomorrow for all people in all nations. God bless the President; God bless America; and God bless all our brothers and sisters on earth.

A Few More Pre Inaugural Photos

2009-01-19T23:29:00.002-05:00

Pre Inaugural Peek!

2009-01-19T23:12:00.002-05:00

I just couldn't stand the thought of living so close to the Nation's capitol without seeing the Inaugural preparations with my own eyes so I woke up Kate at 8:00 this morning and asked her if she wanted to ride the metro downtown to see the preparations. Always up for an adventure, she said "yes"! It was a mere 27 degrees outside and so we dawned our warmest clothes, grabbed our cameras and headed out.

The metro parking lot was practically empty, and so that was a good sign. The subway soon filled with excited groups who were headed in the same direction. We sat by a group of teenagers from Arkansas who were here with their teacher to witness this historical inauguration. It seemed like Christmas -- everyone was filled with goodwill and laughter -- and it started snowing!

We got out at Union Station and started our trek around the Capitol. The first thing we noticed were the protesters out in front of Union Station. The next thing we noticed were the countless rows of porta-potties. We heard there will be over 5,000. That sounds like a lot, but if you consider there will be over 1,000,000 people, it doesn't seem like nearly enough!

We saw a lot of camera crews wandering around, groups of people from other countries, security guards with bomb dogs, and groups of national guards. We saw all the signs that will direct all the people tomorrow. We saw all the red, white, and blue bunting and flags, and we saw the platform and chairs set up on the west side of the capitol. We saw the flags lining Pennsylvania Avenue. We even heard them trying out the sound system -- and it sounded GREAT!

We snapped a few photos, eavesdropped on a few conversations, and got ourselves back to Union Station to get warm -- but not before we saw the fife and drum musicians playing their songs.

Once inside Union Station, we grabbed a hot chai and croissant. We were so happy we made the effort to go downtown today -- and are very happy we won't be there tomorrow with a million people. All that standing around in the freezing cold weather -- and waiting in a seemingly endless line for the porta potty!

I'm Back!

2009-01-18T12:35:00.002-05:00

After my hiatus, I am back and ready to blog. I've got a post pending, but have to wait for the pics to be ready to post. I missed blogging!

Taking a Break

2008-12-23T10:28:00.001-05:00

Time to take a break from writing. I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a New Year filled with much joy, love and adventure!

Cookies, Anyone?

2008-12-07T21:33:00.005-05:00

A cookie-lover's dream -- Emily, Pam and Leah's annual cookie exchange! Each person (and there were over 20) brings six dozen of her favorite cookies and after a wonderful lunch, we each get a tin, line up, and start taking cookies from each pile. Oh, there were delicious cookies! Lots of chocolate ones this year, along with hazelnut filled chocolate cookies, peanut butter bars, molasses crinkles, white chocolate pumpkin, Linzers, and snickerdoodles! I was too full from lunch to try any of the cookies.

Today I fasted and once I got home from church and Kate's concert, I was starving! I dashed to the kitchen to sink my teeth into an assortment of delicious cookies, but what to my disheartened eyes did appear but three tupperware dishes filled with bits and pieces of what used to be cookies! My cookies were clearly violated!!

Now, I'm guilty of biting into chocolates to see what's inside, but really? Taking a bite out of a cookie? Can't you sort of get the hang of it by just looking at it? Can't you see that it has nuts in it? Can't you tell it's made of chocolate? That it looks like a gingersnap?

Well, disheartened and disappointed -- but not totally discouraged -- I grabbed the tupperware filled with cookie pieces and a Diet Coke and sprawled on the couch and ate bits of 2o different kinds of cookies.

My Favorite Nativity Depiction

2008-12-07T00:59:00.009-05:00

Ahh, it's all there -- the true story of the night of Jesus' birth. I imagine this is between the visit from the shepards and the wise men.

You see throngs, and I do mean throngs, of angels absolutely crowding each other, pushing, yearning to see a glimpse of Jesus, stretching and leaning. There are dozens of them -- all ages and races and sexes. Can't you just imagine their comments, "Oh, I do think he has Mary's eyes." "He's so much smaller and sweeter than I thought the Savior would look like." Well, I know Joseph's not the real father, but there is some similarity, don't you think?" "Oh, just look at those eyes, will you?" "And what about his tiny hands... and his dark hair." " I'm sure Mary is so proud." "Oh, I think she just be overwhelmed and exhausted. She's had all those strange visitors all night long -- and those animals." "The baby has sure been a good little thing. You know, pretty quiet through all the commotion." " If some angels would just take a look and then move on, we could all take a look at the baby." "He's so fragile and tiny that it's hard to believe he'll have to save all humankind."

And then you'll notice Joseph. Does he look happy? No. He looks like he's about to lose it! "Okay, God, you told me about this woman and that I'd need to accept her, love her and trust her 'cause she's on your side, but did she have to bring all these people? How did they find our little manger (cave) so fast? I think the singing and harp playing and 'ooohs' and 'aaahhs' are giving me a headache."

And Mary. She just looks really worn out and pensive. -- most likely thinking of her huge responsibilities in raising this young God. She's a first time mother. she's a new wife, a woman of very limited experience and she is so crazy in love with this little, innocent, perfect creature who has finally been born, suckled, cried a bit, burped and fallen asleep.

And of course -- and this is the sweetest part of all -- Mary's best friends are there! They were probably in Bethlehem paying their taxes, too. And when they finally found Mary and Joseph in the manger, they said, "We've been looking all over for you! We just knew tonight was the night. We felt it in our bones." How perfect. Best friends know how to make you feel good. They know the right words, they bring the right food and drink. They know when you need a break from a kid, or a nap, or a or just a good long massage. They're there to give her moral support and tell her what a great mom is and not to worry -- there will always be people in the family who will be here to help. Good thing, too, because it looks like Joseph needs to pull his act together and nab some buddies to come help him celebrate. And of course there's the dog (and her pups). The faithful canine who will stay with the holy family and love them to pieces no matter what crazy things they may do.

Giving Thanks

2008-11-26T21:20:00.002-05:00

In honor of Thanksgiving, I've listed 99 things I'm grateful for. I hope I never take them for granted:

Colorful autumn leaves
An unexpected snowfall
Fountain Diet Coke
Someone writing on my Facebook wall
A Sunday nap on a sunny couch
Hot drinks on cold days
Cold drinks on hot days
Finding the perfect rock
A belly laugh
Photo albums
Gatherings with loved ones
A hot bath
A massage
A good book – anywhere, anytime
Primary presidency meetings (really!)
D.C. in the spring
Having all my family home safe and sound at night
Google (what did we ever do without it?)
Hydrangeas in Takoma Park
A fully tummy
A crackling fire
Music, music, music
The National Portrait Gallery
Being a U.S. citizen
Having confident kids who know they’re loved
A phone call from a friend
Butterballs
Spotting crocuses on a warm February day
A warm, comfy bed
Road trips!
Cousins
Playing cards with Mom, Dad and Darryl
Shopping and lunch with Kate
Seeing “my” egret on her pond on the subway ride home from work
Parents who are storytellers extrodinaire!
The smell of rain on red rocks and sagebrush
Lakes, streams, rivers, ponds
The sound of Kate with her friends
Eating breakfast for dinner
Adventures to New York City
Access to doctors and medical facilities
Libraries!
Down from the Mountain album
People with a sense of humor
A good stretch
Darryl’s belly laugh
A colorful family history
Primary songs and hymns
The view out my office window
Puffy clouds
Blue, blue skies
Soaking my feet in hot water in the bathroom sink
Hiking
A clean house
Having the missionaries over for dinner
Babies
Book club
Celebrations
A pantry full of food
People who share because they want to
Compassion and gentleness
Candles
Bear hugs
Smiles
Good families and vigilant parents
A fiercely orange sunset
Growing up surrounded by cousins, aunts and uncles
Mom’s chili sauce
Wildflowers
Walking through University Park in May when everything is blooming
Fireflies
Selflessness
Bright colors
Forgiveness
David’s calm and even tempered nature
Poetry
Keeping a secret
Alone time
Bread pudding with caramel sauce
Just-picked fruit, tomatoes or corn
The farmer’s market
NPR
Second chances (or third or fourth)
Scriptures
Primary kids – wiggles and all
Spontaneity
Magic
Acceptance
Open mindedness
Compassion
The long days of summer
Friends who me and still love me!
Reading books with kids
Playing
People who look me in the eye
Stupid/funny movies
A heavy rain with lots of thunder (as long as I’m inside)
Getting out the Christmas decorations
Mom’s oatmeal raisin cookes

The Mail Order Tree

2008-11-26T18:43:00.003-05:00

Two years ago I was googling what the best Christmas tree was. I was intrigued by the frazier fir but, alas, none of the tree lots here carried them. So I googled even more and found out I could order one from Maine. They'd cut it and ship it the same day. It would arrive at my door. So, with great enthusiam I ordered the tree and anxiously awaited its arrival. Here's a picture story of what happened.

The In Between

2008-11-26T18:24:00.004-05:00

It's Thanksgiving Eve which means it's less than a month before Christmas! So, this is the time we try to squeeze in the holidays -- the in between time where we have big holiday dinners TWICE in a month! And haul out all those decorations. And shop, well over shop, for our family and friends. It's a time when we squeeze in a ridiculous amount of parties and get togethers. It's a time to cook and bake like a maniac. For me, it's a time when I resolve to do things differently THIS year, but I usually don't. I guess that's how traditions are formed. so now I'm spilling the beans about the traditions that I have created for myself...and love:

1. Crazy baking. When everyone is gone or asleep, I like to make a ton of candy and butter balls. I whip around the TV so I can see it from the kitchen, get in my sweats and bake away.

2. McShopping. I take a day off work without telling anyone in the family. I get up early and shop and I always stop at McDonalds for a hamburger, french fries and Diet Coke. These must be consumed while driving between stores and Christmas music must be blaring.

3. Wrap a Thon. Again, a solo activity. Must have use of the entire living room and have at least 10 kinds of wrapping paper with loads of different ribbons and card tags. A humongous Diet Coke and some homemade caramels must be within reach!

4. Christmas Clean. I think I got this from my mom. The house has to be spick and span for Christmas. This means every nook and cranny. And it can't just look clean, it has to smell clean. The ironing gets done while watching a Christmas movie. The fridge gets cleaned while the Carpenters serenade me.

5. Candle Mania. I will spend a lot of money on candles. I love Hobble Creek's Orange Spice candle. It IS Christmas! I spent well over $100 last year just on candles. Candles = Happiness!

Now, what I always say I am going to do, but never do:

1. Volunteer at a soup kitchen.
2. Adopt a needy family.
3. Read the Christmas story out of the New Testament
4. Go to lots of free Christmas concerts
5. Go easy on the presents
6. Write thoughtful Christmas cards to family and friends
7. Watch "It's a Wonderful Life"
8. Play board games with the family
9. Invite people over for dinner, games or dessert

Yeah, those things never get done, so hopefully I'll have a lot more Christmases to work on it.

Ahhhh....tumn!!

2008-11-10T21:08:00.003-05:00

This is absolutely, positively, unequivocably my favorite time of the year!! I am struck speechless by the dazzlingly colored leaves. I can't get enough breaths of the crisp, chill-laced air. I can't stop looking at the brillant blue sky. I love all the bright red, yellow and green apples piled high. I want to buy every single pumpkin and gnarled squash and gourd I see. I want to skip down every leaf covered sidewalk and kick up leaves into mini leaf swirls.

Anyone who knows me at all knows that I am rock freak. I love rocks. I love to look for them, pick them up, hunt them on the cliffs and hills of Utah, along the streams of Maryland, and in the fields of Pennsylvania. Well, I have a secret: I am a leaf freak, too!! I brake for pretty leaves. I will go right up to someone's house and knock on the door and ask if I can take some leaves off their trees or grass. I will go on leaf-hunting walks (paper bag in tow) just to find the perfect leaf. And I will arrange them and feel them and look at them and wallow in the wonderfulness of their amazing colors.

I have two new leaf collections right now. One is my "Waldon Pond" collection -- acquired last month when we went on our "Autumn Road Trip" to New England. The other is my "Election Leaves" collection, which consists of gorgeous leaves I picked up after walking to the elementary school to vote. A gentle rain had just stopped and the sun was at that oh-so-perfect afternoon place where everything looks cleaner, brighter, more vibrant. I didn't ever want to go back into the house. I just wanted to walk and breathe and collect and bask in the wonderfulness of the moment.

From my office window, I can look out over miles of trees -- clear into D.C. At this time of the year, the National Cathedral is surrounded by a sea of yellow-orange trees. I practically have to pinch myself to believe that I am blessed by such a site.

And so, I will love every single moment left during this glorious time of the year....and I'll have my secret leaf collection to steal glances of when Winter finally has her way and spreads her wintery arms across the land.

Colleges, Traveling, and Playing

2008-07-29T00:50:00.002-04:00

We had to do our family vacation without Darryl this year. So sad! But we had plans for Kate to visit colleges and to spend time with our family. We've had a great time and put a lot of miles on my mom's car. We've visited four colleges, toured through Yellowstone and the Tetons, gone to Bear Lake, hiked southern Utah, rode 4-wheelers, kayaked, jet skied, rock hunted, shopped, played cards, went to movies, and ate delectable delights. A grand time.

Birthday Blessings

2008-03-28T22:06:00.002-04:00

I have the best family and friends ever! They know me so well and got me exactly what I love best for my birthday -- phone calls, hugs, emails, cards and gifts that are so "me" . . .candles, hand crafted soaps, and pretty jewelry. See, Mom, I'm wearing the pendant you bought me. It's so pretty!

I've taken cue from Jeanne and now announce my birthday to everyone who can hear me. I'm not quite at the wearing a tiara all day point, but now I let everyone know it's my special day.

The Missing Wedding Pics

2008-03-26T22:53:00.002-04:00

Just found some wedding pictures taken by the Carrolls. So much fun. Shonda and Tom Carroll (and Zac and McKenzie, of course) are dear friends. Shonda and I were soul mates from the beginning -- when we first met 25 YEARS ago! Love these photos of the wedding and the Carrolls.

Happy Springster Day

2008-03-26T22:29:00.003-04:00

Wow! Will it ever end, this season of celebrating? I hope not. The last couple of weeks has been a string of celebrations. We started with Darryl's birthday, welcomed Spring in all her soppy sweetness, celebrated Easter and now my birthday . . .which is an ongoing event!

The Carroll Family made their annual Easter pilgrimage to see us -- this time bringing four additional family members -- their oldest son, Nick, and his wife and two boys. We had a four night whirlwind visit! Kate was able to stay and visit two nights and then dashed out of town for a week at the beach with Katie and her family.

On Friday, the Carroll clan took Darryl and I to Medieval Times to celebrate our birthdays. It was quite an experience -- we watched knights joust for the love of the princess as we ate baked chicken and ribs with our hands and yelled raucous cheers of encouragement to the Green Knight.

On Saturday, we bought eggs to dye and put a serious dent into Target's Easter section. The lady in line behind us asked if we were buying candy for our church! We dyed eggs and watched The Matrix while the more intellectual of the group played a rousing game of Risk.

After the Carrolls left on Sunday, Darryl, David and I headed to our friends, the Bowcuts, for a wild easter egg hunt and delicious dinner.

My birthday celebration started with a lunch on Tuesday with John Porter -- a long time friend. At book club on Tuesday, the ladies surprised me with a lovely birthday cake. Today, I had lunch with my other John (that sounds bad), and tonight I went out for Indian food with my friends Alison and Karen.

The festivities will continue tomorrow! I've taken the day off work and plan on playing until my two handsome men - Darryl and David - take me to dinner. I'll wait on dessert until Kate gets home at 9:30 or so. Party on, friends. Party on.

Eavesdropping

2008-03-14T22:02:00.002-04:00

Here's a conversation I heard on the metro today. I was sitting in front of two females:

"She pregnant."

"Who with?"

"Coco"

"Coco? I done him once but I'se on a break wit my guy. It don't count if you on a break do it?"

"Yeah it do 'cause you got the strings and all."

"Ah, we ain't got strings. Maybe thread. No a piece a hair."

"He got a new girl now. She ugly as sh*#, too. Talks Spanish all the time"

"Umm, umm."

When the train stopped and I got up to disembark, I looked back to see who I was eavesdropping on -- two cute girls, probably 13 or so. My have things have done changed since I'se a youngun!

Irritable, Restless and Discontent

2008-03-13T19:51:00.004-04:00

That's me, baby! I am ridiculously grumpy and mean lately. I don't know how anyone around me can stand me -- I can't stand me. I am irritated at every single meeting I go to. I'm annoyed by all the people on the subway. When someone talks, I hear, "blah, blah, blah." I about died in a meeting the other night. I just kept thinking, "Shut up! Shut up. Can't you stop talking? Oh, no. Do we really need to hear this again!? Get me out of here -- fast!"

Does that sound at all normal? No! I'm a total freak. My family is going to banish me from the house soon. I'd probably be out already except that I do provide laundry, taxi, and chef services.

Even my escapes to Europe (via my travel DVDs) aren't enough. Lately, when I watch them I just think, "Darn! Why can't I be in France eating a fresh crepe? Why can't I be strolling through Belgium eating some of those delicious twice-cooked Flemish fries? Why can't I be sauntering through a medieval castle along the Rhine in Germany?" And on and on my trippy mind goes for 45 minutes with this ridiculous "poor me" self talk.

So, what's the deal? I don't know. It could be that awkward time before spring; it could be worrying about finances; it could be me stressing out over my kids' future. Or . . .hum . . it could be this ridiculous "calorie counter" website I'm now addicted to where you record every single thing you eat and it grades you. Seriously. It does. I was a freaky perfectionist student all through school and now I'm a 47 year old woman who has to get an A on my calorie counter website every day. I feel like a freaking field grazing goat!

I need to get me some tiramisu!!!

Happy Birthday, Darryl!

2008-03-13T19:35:00.004-04:00

Darryl turned 46 on Monday. For 17 glorious days, we're the same age! The kids and I took him out (well, he paid) to dinner at his favorite place -- the Outback. Darryl complained that I always gave him clothes for his birthday so this year, we decided to get him TOYS! I got him two games for his XBox 360; David got him the first season of Psyche on DVD; and Kate got him a big bag of candy. He loved it all. I tried to get him to go to Platos for Tiramisu for dessert, but he didn't want to. So . . .Plan B kicked into action -- chocolate dipped strawberries. Thanks, Joni, for introducing me to such decadent yumminess. We need more birthdays and fewer diets in this world!!

Spring!

2008-03-04T23:05:00.005-05:00

Today a crocus winked at me, a forsythia waved at me, and a crowd of pansies nodded an acknowledgment as I walked by. It's spring! Well, at least Spring has poked her head around the corner to let Winter know she's on her way.

The day was warm and breezy and gentle showers fell this evening. I opened the windows upstairs, drove with the car windows unrolled, and had a craving to clean and declutter.

We all went out for dinner at Platos (even David). We talked and laughed with a new lightness and energy. When we got home, I said, "Who wants to go on a walk!?" "Hah", said David. "I do, but I have too much homework", said Kate. "It's 9 o'clock", said Darryl. "Okay", I said as I practically bounced out the door.

Ah, glorious spring air. I could not understand why every single person in the neighborhood was not outside basking in the wonder of the gentle weather. I could not stop filling up my lungs with the fresh air, tinged with that new-life smell that's impossible to describe (but everyone knows what it is).

I walked until Spring's rains gently soaked my face in dewy kisses. I did not want to go inside. The caressing breeze, the smell of spring, the gentle sound of wind chimes ringing from neighbors porches.

It may turn blustery tomorrow and we still have some cold days ahead, but today Spring made herself known and put Winter on notice! I simply could not bear to live in a place bereft of the change of seasons. Though February's long days can drain me within an inch of sanity, I soon forget the misery the instant Spring brings her bouquet of renewal, warmth and new life.

Tricked into a Party

2008-02-29T08:12:00.005-05:00

A week or so, Kate started talking about her friend Katie's 18th birthday. After school, a group of girls were going to take her to the Fractured Prune (I swear this really is the name of a gourmet donut place in College Park) to celebrate.

On Tuesday, Kate asked if it would be okay if they came to the house to hang out a while after the party. I agreed but reminded Kate that she was at John's that night.

On Wednesday, Kate asked if it would be possible for a couple of girls to spend the night -- it would be "a dream come true". I asked how many girls there would be. "Just three of us." She assured me that Katie's mom would take them to the Fractured Prune and bring them back. Oh, what the heck. I agreed.

At 7:00 p.m. on Friday, I'm anxiously waiting for Darryl. We've got a date! The phone rings at 7:10. Kate and her four friends need a ride back to the house. Turns out Katie's mom decided she couldn't pick them up. Grrr. That was not part of the plan! So, I get the girls and bring them back. Turns out they are all staying the night. As we're pulling out of the driveway, another girl pulls up to the house with her sleeping bag.

Should I be irritated that I was tricked into having a full fledged slumber party? Maybe. But I thought how great it was that high school girls are choosing to hang out together, that Kate has such nice friends, that they have the thoughtfulness and initiative to make a friend's birthday special, that they feel comfortable in our house, and that they're safe and happy.

When Darryl and I got home, we asked the girls if they wanted us to order a pizza, but they'd just fixed themselves dinner -- Cheerios! We rounded up some chocolate kisses and brownies for their dessert and went upstairs to bed to leave them to their party.

Tiramisu Dreams

2008-02-29T07:59:00.002-05:00

Don't have tiramisu for dessert or you might have bizarre dreams! Darryl and shared a piece of tiramisu late last night and we both had weird dreams!

I dreamed that we had three baby girls -- one who could barely walk and two who were tiny babies. We were walking across a field with a lot of people. I wanted to give Darryl a kiss but he was so tall that he had to stop and kneel down to kiss me. The babies were squirming and kept slipping out of my arms. I'm not sure why Darryl wasn't helping me carry them!

Darryl had a dream that we had three kids and lived in a theater that we'd converted into a house. He was running around after the youngest child (a boy) while I got ready for work and then left -- in my underwear.

He had another dream that John McCain was at our house to talk to me -- we were old friends. We were all lying on the bed just chatting. McCain was worried that Hillary and Obama were getting a lot of press coverage and he wasn't getting any. I kept reassuring him that he'd get more once the primaries were over. He told us how stressful the campaign was and how he longed for some quiet. He asked if he could sleep on our couch occasionally to get away from the stress. We readily agreed. (In the dream, Darryl didn't have the heart to tell McCain that he was voting for Obama).

So, you've been warned -- no tiramisu for dessert!

Book Club

2008-02-27T00:16:00.003-05:00

Tonight was my favorite night of the month -- book club! It was especially fun for a few reasons: 1) I got to host it; 2) so many of my friends were here; and 3) the book was great!

This month's book was, "The Ladies Coupe" by Anita Nair. It's a novel that takes place in modern India and tells the stories of six different Indian women. Themes include marriage, love, children, aging, extended families, identity, desires, and dreams. The characters were interesting, and there was a lot to learn about Indian culture.

There were 13 of us tonight -- the most we've had in well over a year. Only three of us had read the whole book. Two others read part of the book. The rest hadn't even touched the book! Who are we kidding? We just come to book club to hang out with friends and eat good food. My friend at work has had a book club with the same friends for 12 years. She said they finally got honest and now accurately call it the "Touch the Book Club". I like that!

The discussion is always lively at book club, and tonight there was a lot of laughter as we related our own thoughts and experiences with the themes from the book.

I was tickled that so many of my friends came. I have the greatest friends ever, and to share the common experience of book reading makes the friendships all that much richer!

We usually serve food to go along with the book. I served Mulligatawny soup, chapatis, fresh mangos and blackberries, and a plate of three different chocolate desserts. (David made the brownies for me!)

I had tons of candles in the house and when John came to pick up the kids before book club started, he asked me if I was having a seances. I told him, "I hope so. You never know if enough women will show for a full coven, and you have to have a coven to do a seances." I love messing with him.

This was the first book club I've hosted as a married woman. My friends all love Darryl and asked where he was (he was upstairs playing on his XBox). Everyone had gone except Jana as Darryl came down the steps. The three of us started talking and before you know it, it is 11:45! Darryl can make anyone feel like they are the most important person in the world.

As Darryl and I were cleaning up, the conversation went something like this: "How's Jenni?" "I don't know. I didn't get a chance to talk to her." "Is Brad about done with the kitchen?" "I don't know. I didn't get a chance to talk to Cindy." "Are Kelly's kids feeling better?" "I don't know. I didn't get a chance to talk to her." At that point, Darryl looks at me and says "Why do you even have book club if you don't get to talk to anyone?" I love him; he so gets it!

What's Your Favorite...?

2008-02-25T23:02:00.005-05:00

I hate it when someone asks questions like, "What's your favorite food?" or "Where's your favorite place to go?" or "What's your favorite movie?" I mean, seriously, is it even possible to answer such questions? Not for me it isn't. I change my mind too much.

For instance, if someone asked me today what my favorite thing to do was, I'd say lie down all curled up with a book in a quiet pile of sunshine. Next week, my favorite thing to do will likely be going out to dinner with my girlfriends, going adventuring with Kate, or hanging around the house in my p.j.s all day.

Can anyone really chose a favorite food? Maybe I could chose my top 100 favorite foods. Favorite movie? Gosh, that depends on my mood! Sometimes it would be "Under the Tuscan Sun". Other times it could be "French Kiss". It could conceivably even be "Malibu's Most Wanted".

To improve security, my credit union's web site now asks for THREE security questions like "Who is your favorite band?", "What's your favorite movie?" , "What's your favorite activity?" or "What's your favorite book?" Really? Are they serious? Are they out of their minds? Well, I failed the blasted test and got locked out of my account. Is there really anyone who has a singular favorite food, color, movie or song? I'm I the only one who changes my mind?

I just can't imagine having a favorite band or a favorite activity. Silly people trying to make use free spirits stable!

(Oops. My husband just read this and didn't relate at all. His favorites have been solid for decades; Beatles, Baseball and Blue.

It's Joni's Fault!

2008-02-24T22:27:00.005-05:00

Okay, I'm addicted to this blog. It's like I've been imprisoned in the Don't Express Jail and someone has given me a key to Express Yourself Heaven! But, don't blame me. This is Joni's fault. She encouraged me to create a blog despite my misgivings.

And the expensive clothes (not many, mind you) that I have -- well, that's Jeanne's fault. I was perfectly happy tromping around NYC buying $4 earrings on Canal Street. But, noooo -- Jeanne insisted I try on a most unusual leather coat in a little shop on Orchard Street. She practically held a gun to my head and made me buy it. (Okay, so she just oohed and ahhhed and said she'd never seen anything so gorgeous and unique and that I looked incredible in it and that I'd regret it if I didn't buy it -- after all, we only live once). So now I have a $300 amazingly unique leather coat that I've worn exactly twice in three years

And Donna Ayres is totally to blame for my love affair with books. Heavens! She's exposed me to more kinds of books that I could imagine. She made every title enticing, irresistible, exciting! She made me crave reading -- and then took me to book stores and introduced me to fabulous Websites that had book great reviews. The nail in the coffin -- she showed me how easy it was to use "one click" on Amazon. Now, it takes a nanosecond to buy a book.

Jenni is to blame for my new love for "savories", as she calls them. It's really a euphanism for foods that are high in salt and fat -- like brie and pistachios baked in philo, peppery pastrami, big Greek olives. The shame of it!

Darryl is to blame for my junk food consumption and ridiculous new adoration for Italian subs and greasy hamburgers from Five Guys. He's also to blame for my new addictions to Monk and House. I also blame him for my newly acquired lax housekeeping skills and propensity for doing nothing on weekends. This new "relaxing" thing is starting to catch on, and I'm a bit worried about what that means for the state of the house.

I gotta get some new people in my life -- maybe some frugal vegetarians.

Me

2008-02-24T21:31:00.003-05:00

Hum . . .well, this is me. I was actually trying to figure out how to add a bunch of pictures, but this is all I could come up with. This was taken in December when Mom and Dad were here. Dad took us all out to lunch!

Why Not to Steam Clean on Sunday

2008-02-24T16:58:00.004-05:00

Even if you're really tempted to do it, don't steam clean your carpets on Sunday. Why, you ask? I'll tell you:

-You'll stub your toe while moving your furniture
-Your steam cleaner will dispense the soapy water, but it won't suck it up
-You'll run out of cleaning solution when you're only half way done
-You'll drop the dispenser in the toilet when you're dumping out the water
-You'll break the handle of the cleaner when you knock it over
-Your home teacher will make an unexpected visit when you're halfway done (the part when you're cursing the machine for not picking up the water)
-You'll discover someone took the last Diet Coke from your secret hiding place in the fridge (but not until you're done with the unusually grueling job and ready to sit down and admire your hard work)
-Seeing your frustration, your teenage son will say, "I told you so!"

The Escape Gazelle

2008-02-24T15:48:00.002-05:00

Nine months ago I bought at Gazelle (exercise machine) from a U of M student who lived in a grimy apartment in student housing. I paid $75 cash. The Gazelle sat in my basement until January, when I suddenly had a burst of post-holiday energy and assembled it.

Almost every day after work, I don my ill fitting, outdated gym clothes and hit the Gazelle for 30 minutes of so. But, this is not your ordinary Gazelle. This one has magical powers -- assisted in great measure by the wonder of a DVD player and free travel DVDs from the library. Each time I exercise, the Gazelle whisks me away on a new adventure. I can hardly wait to see what wonderous place awaits me each day.

In the past few weeks, I've been to Greece, Turkey, Israel, France, Italy, Germany, Switzerland, Croatia and Hungary. I stare in wonder and amazement at the adventures awaiting me someday (someday far, far off, I fear), I can nearly hear the crashing sea off the cliffs of western Ireland, smell the grapes in the vineyards of France, hear the accordian at the folklife festival in Germany, and taste the freshly pressed olive oil in Italy. Last night, I truly cried at the sight of the emerald fields of Ireland - home to some of my ancestors. I'd never seen anything so amazing, so charming, so alluring.

I never imagined that this humble machine, bought used and without warranty, would bring such pure pleasure as I ride it minute after minute in my lowly basement. It sets my heart soaring (literally and figuratively); my imagination run wild!

So, even though my clothes are actually getting tighter and my appetite is increasing (if you saw all those gastronomical delights, you'd come off the Gazelle ready to eat the house, too), I am not about to give up my escapercise to anything right now. My secret fear: i know I'll eventually run out of travel DVDs and then be condemned to ride a decrepit machine in a dark basement.

UnHoly Sabbath Day

2008-02-24T14:49:00.002-05:00

Normally, I wake up every morning before 6:00 a.m, with or without an alarm, weekend or weekday, usually bright eyed and bushy tailed. Today, I didn't. I forced myself up at 8:20 a.m, when I realized I had to get Kate from her dad's house, finish preparing sharing time, and get ready for a 9:00 a.m. Sacrament Meeting. I was tired. It was cold. I was comfy under the covers and it was not at all fair that on the one day I didn't want to get up, I had to. Anger and resentment coursed through me. I was ticked off.

Could I deal with it? Could I follow all the great advice about taking a deep breath, stopping a moment to breathe, saying a prayer, starting my day over? Not on your life. Not only no, but hell no! I was miserable and armed with determination to stay that way.

Kate dared not breathe a word on the wayback from her dad's house. I caught her stealing glances at me, but sent her silent body language messages saying, "Don't say a single word...especially if you're going to be cheerful."

Sacrament meeting was long, and I was annoyed by the French speaker and his interpreter. Two-year old Mimi sat in front of us and kept looking back and smiling at me. It's irritating to have to smile at a toddler when you just want to stew in resentment. I thought the talk on food storage was targeted at me and the stake counselor was admonishing me for my lack of preparation.

Now, onto Sunday school. I'd planned a riveting role playing activity (all in accordance with the written Church guidance) where the children could act out a Book of Mormon story -- the one about Abinadi. I'd gathered robes and ropes, make crowns of gold and a thrown for wicked King Noah.

We did this for both junior and senior primary. The King Noahs ended up being the most angelic of girls and had a hard time being wicked. The first Abinadi caved in the second King Noah asked him to recant his testimony. Then he burst into tears as the guards tied him up in preparation for his burning death. The second Abinadi did some rather impressive karate moves on the unsuspecting guards and then yelled, "Gotcha!" to King Noah as he tore out of the room. King Noah then through his gold crown and the guards started hitting each other with their cardboard swords. I completely forgot about poor Alma (who "ran away" into the far corner of the room to escape the wicked priests) until we were singing the closing hymn.

My irritation stretched into a total "ticked off" state and I looked forward to a lazy Sunday afternoon since the kids were at their dads. That's when Kate told me that since she'd be here tonight, she'd rather just come home with me.

Okay, now I did say a prayer asking for a little grace, a smidgen of gratitude. (After all, I am a blessed woman whose teenagers still hug me and tell me they love me.) Inspiration came: make waffles for lunch! Done. Kate and I quickly downed the waffles and then came -- the sugar coma. Lethargy settled in as all the energy I exerted being angry finally wore me out. I snuggled up on the couch to take rare afternoon nap.

Apparently, Darryl is not yet adept at reading the obvious body language of DO NOT DISTURB. He woke me up to ask me where I put the wet dry vac (the same one that had the wolf stuck in it in my dream of a few nights ago). You would have thought I was the wolf as I woke up startled and yelled "Shut up!" But, he was persistent. Not only did he want to know where the machine was, he wanted me to tell him how to change the filter.

Just as I settled back down, the door burst open and David and John came in. And, of all the rare, rare, rare occurrences, David was in a chatty mood. Honestly! I grumped and pouted until he told me to stop being so "emo". He suggested I go to the library or to the basement if I didn't want to be disturbed. Hey, doesn't he know this is MY Sunday? This was supposed to be my day to "rest" and get revitalized? This was the day I'd carved out for some alone time? This is my house, after all. What are these other people doing here? Oh, that's right. This is my family. Real parents don't get every other weekend off. Real parents don't have kids going to a different house every other night. Real parents share all of their house and space. Guess I've lost perspective over the last ten years.

So now I sit amidst a pile of Book of Mormon costumes feeling guilty about not having a food supply. I'm also not feeling inclined toward having family prayer or reading my scriptures today. I think I'll top off this most unholy of Sabbaths by steam cleaning the dining room and then settling down with a nice cold Diet Coke. Some Sundays are just like that.

And Now . . .the Rest of the Family

2008-02-23T22:30:00.001-05:00

I formally met my ex-husband's (we'll call him John) wife (we'll call her Monica) two weeks ago. Although I've been in the same room with her on several occasions, we've both aptly pretended that the other doesn't exist. But fate does create opportunities when we need to be pushed.

Here's what happened: I was on a business flight from Baltimore to San Diego. And, of all the flights, of all of the destinations, of all of the airlines, and of all of the times, John and his new wife just happened to be on my flight.

We were able to ignore one another on the five hour flight - after all, you barely move on those flights. The problem arose at baggage claim. There we were, standing in close proximity. I felt awkward. I finally just said to myself, "Well, get it over with, Donna. Come on, you can do it." And so I, walked over to them, extended my hand, and said, "Hi, Monica, I've not formally met you, but I'm David and Kate's mom, Donna."

She introduced herself, John smirked and nervously laughed. It was one of those ten second conversations that had few words, loads of meaning, and seemed to last forever. My stomach was in knots, my hands were shaky and clammy. The nerves didn't abate until I'd had a good walk in the sun around San Diego and done a lot of breathing. In fact, the entire time I was there, I was half afraid I'd run into them again.

Well, tonight I got to see the rest of the family -- John, and Monica, along with her boys, came to see Kate's play. Actually, it was great to see the boys! They looked like nice young men, and they'd driven a long way to come and see Kate. That's classy. That's support. That's FAMILY. I'm glad my daughter's family is growing. The more people we have in our lives who love us, the better off we are. There are all kinds of families. We can create the family we want. We just have to have the right combination of circumstances, open mindedness and willingness.

For the first time in a long time, I'm not worried or jealous or threatened. I'm feeling rather blessed. Although I didn't quite have the nerve to introduce myself to the rest of the family, I'm sure I will in time. I want to know all of Kate's family!

2008-02-22T23:26:00.000-05:00

Togetherness

2008-02-22T23:20:00.002-05:00

After passing up an opportunity to spend the evening together at Kate's play and then ignoring me all night, my husband suddenly had an interest in doing something together when he observed me writing a new entry on my new "Davis-Franklin Family" blog! I don't think his new found interest in being together is so much about being together as his fear I may put a bad spin on the Davis name.

But, hey, if it gets his attention, and I don't have to jump up and down without any clothes on shouting, "Here I am. Pay attention to me", this may be just the ticket!

The Hamster Child

2008-02-22T22:51:00.001-05:00

David is my hamster child. At least that's what he told me tonight. He thinks he was the "experiment kid" and Kate's the "real" one. Ya know, in a way, I guess the first child in all families is the hamster child -- the first one, the trial, the experiment. I'm not sure what the middle child is, but I'm pretty sure the last one is the gold fish child.

I know one thing for sure: if children were born teenagers, more humans would follow the example of other mammals and eat their own.

I Say, Jolly Good Acting!

2008-02-22T18:45:00.004-05:00

Blimey! Kate was simply the bees knees playing a sassy Brit named Cecilia in her school play, "My Very Own Story", a fun, entertaining and fast moving play about miscommunication, love, and morals.

Kate's performance was simply smashing! As always, she exudes confidence and grace. Her stage presence always tickles me and fills me with pride.

What Kate liked most about the play: 1) she had good friends in the play; 2) she got to wear several different costumes --including a gorgeous wedding dress; 3) she got to have a British accent; and 4) THERE WERE BLOKES (that's British for boys)! Hey, that's a pretty big deal when you're in an all girls Catholic school!

I love watching Kate act because her passion matches her talent! And the best part . . .it's not every night you get to take a star home!

Dreams, Blues and Longings

2008-02-22T12:54:00.001-05:00

I awoke from strange dreams at 2:32 a.m. The sound of sleet hit the roof. I longed to be basking in the sun of an Italian villa. It's that time of the year, isn't it? Christmas holidays seem far away; the promise of Spring seems fragile.

The Dream.
I was sitting on the floor of the back room. I had just opened a large cardboard box that sitting on the front porch. Tons of the nasty packing materials had exploded and I wanted to get it cleaned up. I pulled out the wet-dry vac. To my dismay, the hose was gouged and sliced with deep cuts. I fetched the duct tape to make repairs. Once I had the duct tape, I decided I needed to duct tape my toes. I didn't get it quite right on the left foot. Right then, Mom walked in. I asked her if she knew what happened to the vacuum because it had been fine earlier that day.

Mom picked up the hose and started pulling things from the gashes. Finally, she had it out -- the large carcass of a big gray wolf with a ferocious mouth. Shocked, she threw it into the box. We both stared in unbelief. Within moments, the wolf began to transform. It lost its fur, turned a slick coffee-reddish color. We could see the skin moved where the heart was beating. A strange creature began to come to life, open its eyes and then leaped out of the box and dashed out the door into the back yard.

As soon as the creature landed on the grass, the backyard transformed into a prehistoric world of deep emerald green vegetation, looming cloud topped mountains, and skies swirling with gray-blue clouds. Two by two, strange animals appeared out of nowhere -- just emerged (like the fade in-fade out feature on PowerPoint). They were gorgeous, huge creatures with brilliant colors -- majestic, intelligent, powerful! As a pair would fade out, two different creatures would fade in. I was fascinated, mesmerized, frightened.

The Blues.
There's a reason February is the shortest month; it's so dreadful, I don't think we could stand another two days of it! Poised between the magic of the holidays and the vibrant glory of spring, February -- even with its three holidays -- is simply depressing. And long. And cold. I need sun. I need warmth. I need light. I want to find a place in the house where the sun streams through the window so that I can curl up and soak in some solar glory. I want to be awakened at 6 a.m. by birds and sunshine. I want to stop craving soups and bread and be immersed in the season of salads and fresh fruit. I want to pick fresh basil and rosemary and inhale it until I feel lightheaded and bursting with delight. Come on, Verdant Green Spring -- put your lovely arms around Cold Gray February and melt him clean away!

Longings.
A true Italian slice of pizza in Naples. A Nutella and banana crepe in France. A big plate of grilled vegetables and hummus in Turkey. The ruins of ancient civilization, a glimpse into the lives of foreign cities -- I long for that. I'm yearning to experience the smells, tastes, sounds and strangeness of different cultures. I have read and watched and listened about others' adventures for far too long. I want a turn! I yearn for the adventure of the unknown.